Breaking Down the Wall
by wazlib88
Summary: The war is over, but nothing is how it should be - not yet, anyway. Harry and Ginny have an important conversation and take the first steps toward making things right.


A/N: I've been meaning to write this all week but got distracted by the Ron/Hermione chapter fic I'm working on. In fact, I completely forgot about this until about two hours ago. So, here it is, an eleventh hour product. Ollivander's Challenge, Week Five, Prompt Four: "It's all or nothing." Also known as my first foray into something that's purely Harry/Ginny. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: J.K. Rowling is my hero and everything I write is because of her because she is amazing, yes.

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As Harry walked around the perimeter of the Burrow's wards for the third time, he began to wonder whether he ought to be headed in. It was a cool night, and though it was cloudless, it smelled as though it would start to rain soon. However, he had no desire to go inside; everyone had retreated to their respective rooms after dinner, and Harry felt as though he was intruding wherever he went. Even Ron and Hermione had locked themselves in the room on the top floor, and whatever they were doing, Harry was sure he didn't want to be a part of it.

When he thought about it, he supposed he'd probably been spending an unhealthy amount of time alone in the weeks since the war had ended. It was difficult not to, though; only Ron and Hermione truly knew or understood what he'd been through, and as they were increasingly finding themselves otherwise occupied, Harry was left to his own devices more often than not. He didn't mind, really; in light of all that had happened, he was thankful to have some time to disconnect from the rest of the world. Regardless of whether he wanted to brood or to try to forget, it was always easier when he was alone. So, instead of retreating to the house, he began a fourth lap around the yard. However, he was interrupted before he'd gone too far.

"Harry!" a quiet voice called from behind him. It was a voice he would recognize anywhere. Ginny.

They hadn't had much time to talk yet. Harry had rationalized it to himself with the thought that they had ages to get it right, but the longer they'd gone without speaking, the more difficult it had been to start any sort of meaningful conversation. Still, he stopped in his tracks immediately and turned in the direction of her voice. She was standing on the back step of the Burrow, looking as brilliantly pretty as she ever had, clad in her faded blue dressing gown, her smooth red hair tied back to reveal a slightly anxious expression.

"Hi," Harry called back, seemingly frozen to the spot as he waited for her to catch up to him.

"Do you mind some company?" she asked when she reached him, offering a small smile that nearly made his heart stop.

"Not at all," he replied politely, resisting the urge to reach for her hand as they began to walk. "How are you doing?"

"That's a bit of a loaded question," Ginny said with a weak laugh. "How are _you _doing?"

"I see your point," Harry replied, able to offer her only a strangled smile. "Still, we haven't really…"

"No, we haven't," Ginny confirmed shortly. "I mean, we _have_-"

"Yeah," Harry interrupted dismissively, not trusting himself to rationally discuss the few heated kisses and other…_things_ they'd shared in the past few weeks. "Really, though. How are you?"

"I'm alright," Ginny said thoughtfully. "It's been tough, though, with everything. I haven't really had anyone to talk to."

"I know the feeling," Harry sympathized, but she shook her head vigorously.

"You can talk to me," she said fiercely. "Or you _could_, anyway."

"Well, _you_ could talk to me," he retorted, making a half-hearted attempt to defend himself.

"When?" she asked sardonically. "You're never around, Harry. You're shutting yourself off again."

"No, I'm-"

"Yes, you are," she said firmly, rejecting his feeble protests immediately. "Look, I know Ron and Hermione have their…_thing_, but I'm still here, and we were-"

"We _were_, yeah," Harry agreed. "But are we still, Gin?"

"I don't know," she said honestly, turning to meet his eyes full-on for the first time since they'd begun their walk. "It's been a year."

"A long year," Harry confirmed.

"How long, exactly?" she asked, fixing him with a blazing look. "How much has changed?"

"Everything," Harry said automatically.

"Everything?" Ginny questioned, biting her lip uncertainly. "Look, if things aren't the same as they were, then I won't waste your time-"

"What do you mean?" Harry asked, though he knew perfectly well. He wasn't ready yet; he needed to buy some time. Ginny, however, wasn't buying his question. She stopped walking and turned to look at him, her arms crossed in a no-nonsense manner. The space she left between them felt like a barrier, and Harry could think of no way to break it down.

"I can't do this, Harry," she said forcefully. "I can't play games like this. I need to know-"

"I'm still..you know, in love with you, if that's what you're asking," Harry cut in, mumbling uncomfortably and feeling his face redden as he spoke. He'd only used those precise words once before, more than a year ago, but he could tell she wanted to hear it directly. "I'd have thought that was obvious, after…" he let himself trail off awkwardly.

"Why can't you say it?" she asked in a small voice, looking down at her feet.

"Because…I don't know," Harry sighed, running a hand through his messy hair in frustration. "I just…I want things to be like they were before."

"Well, I don't," Ginny replied, and Harry immediately felt his heart shatter.

"You don't feel the same way, then?" he asked dejectedly.

"I didn't say that," Ginny clarified, a frown crossing her face. "But you can't just kiss me like you have, and we can't just do…_things_ like we did, as though the last year's never happened. We can't go back, Harry, we've got to move forward."

"I don't know how," Harry said honestly. He laughed, but it was humorless - helpless. "I have no idea what I'm meant to do, Ginny."

"Stop shutting me out, for starters," she suggested, raising a challenging eyebrow.

"I'm not trying to, you know," he argued, waving his hands around as if to make a point. "I mean, fuck, I _died_, Ginny. But then I didn't, and so many other people did, and I just _don't know -_" he cut himself off then, feeling somehow even more helpless than he had before.

"Look, I'm not asking you to be like you were before," Ginny continued, her face softening just a bit. "It's like you said, you know, everything's changed."

"So what do you want me to do, then?" he asked desperately, wishing he could take a Beater's bat to the suffocating space between them and break down whatever it was keeping them apart.

"I told you. _Talk_ to me," she said exasperatedly, her voice rising for the first time since their conversation had begun. "It's not that hard, you know? I'm right here, Harry, I've been here the whole time!"

"It's not as easy as you're making it sound," he replied darkly. "I'm not exactly in a cheerful place at the moment, you know-"

"I'm not asking you to get better right this second!" Ginny cried. "I'm just asking you to be _Harry_. I'm still _in love_ with Harry!"

"This is who I am now," Harry argued, gesturing wildly toward himself. "I can try, Ginny, I want to try, but it's not going to be like picking up where we left off."

"I told you, I don't want it to be," Ginny insisted. "Look, I'm not the same as I was either. Not that you've asked, but being at Hogwarts last year wasn't exactly a walk in the park!"

Harry froze then, realizing she had a point. It wasn't simply that she was upset with him for not opening up, it was also that he hadn't given her a chance to do the same. "I'm sorry, I've just been-"

"Distracted," Ginny finished. She sighed heavily then, and seemed to wrestle with herself for a moment before visibly coming to a decision. Then, she set her face in resolve and reached out to take his right hand in her left. "I know you've got a lot to figure out, Harry, and so have I. It's just...I don't know. Maybe I was stupid to think we could try to do it together."

"You're not stupid," Harry said quietly, squeezing her hand and tentatively lacing their fingers together. There was still an unnatural amount of space between them, yes, but this contact felt good. It felt right.

"I don't want to give you an ultimatum, Harry," Ginny continued, the determination on her face growing more pronounced with every word, "but it's all or nothing. It has to be. I can't keep doing this…_thing_, whatever it is. I want to be with you properly; I can't do any of it otherwise."

Harry swallowed thickly. "I-I want that too, Gin, it's just…"

"What?" she asked impatiently, tugging on his hand to bring him closer. "Just tell me what you need; I'm willing to try, too."

"I don't know where to start!" Harry blurted in a sudden burst of frustration. The dam had broken. "It's like every minute of my life was leading up to that night at Hogwarts, and now it's all over, just like I've always wanted, but I don't know what to do, or who to be, or _anything_, you know? I just…I don't know how to be normal," he finished, relief washing over him as he was finally able to articulate what it was that was keeping him from bridging the gap.

"I don't either," Ginny admitted, the small, gorgeous smile returning to her face. "But Harry, being with you last year was the most _normal_ I've ever felt."

"Me too," Harry said immediately, feeling a genuine grin spread across his face for the first time in quite awhile. "I want it all with you, I do."

"So talk to me," Ginny pleaded. "We've got to be honest with each other. Especially after everything that's happened. We've got to help each other."

"Okay," Harry agreed, unable to expand any further due to the distracting nature of the way her hair was shining in the dim moonlight.

"Simple as that?" Ginny asked skeptically. "I thought I might have to drag you kicking and screaming into making a decision, what with the way you've been lately."

"I'm not saying you're not going to have to give me a push now and then. Maybe more than a push, given my track record," Harry joked, joining their free hands as he spoke. "But you're right, Ginny, and I've got to start listening to you. Either we're going to do this or we're not, and I want to be us again."

"I want that too," she said softly, squeezing his hands lightly and leaning her forehead against his.

They stood there silently for a few minutes, and Harry focused on the hypnotic sound of her breathing. He could hardly believe his luck, really. After all that had happened, she was still there, and she wanted him, even in the broken state he was in. For the first time since the battle, Harry felt as though things were truly looking up. There was still one thing missing, though…

"Ginny?"

"Yeah?"

"I know you said we can't pretend like nothing's changed," Harry said tentatively, shifting a little so he could look her in the eyes. "But I've _got _to just-"

"Please do," she interrupted, leaning in closer. He immediately closed the gap between him, letting go of her hands to throw his arms around her and grip her firmly as he kissed her, thoroughly, fiercely, and passionately. And for the first time since what felt like another lifetime, she kissed him back freely, and the wall between them, though not completely broken down, took a rather devastating hit. Neither of them pulled away, not even when it began to rain heavily and their clothes were sticking to their skin. It didn't mean everything was fixed; in fact, it didn't mean _anything_ was fixed, but it was a promise that they would start to pick up the pieces, and it was a promise that they would do it together.

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A/N: I've only ever written Harry and Ginny as background characters, so I'm not entirely sure I got their characterization right, but I've been meaning to write something focusing on them for quite some time now. Let me know what you thought of it, if you'd like :) Thanks for reading!


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